For some of us, Memorial Day serves as the official start of summer. It's when many head to the beach and schoolchildren begin counting down the days to summer vacation.

But for others, especially while our nation is at war in Iraq and Afghanistan, this is a particularly difficult time of year. As the country pauses to pay tribute to the fallen, those with loved ones currently deployed in Iraq and Afghanistan are especially on edge, waiting to exhale a sigh of relief upon the safe return of their special someone. It is not an easy time for them.

Waiting back home 

"I feel that the general public does not have a clue what is going on with soldiers [in combat] and their families," says Linda Fears, whose son, Jason, is currently serving in Iraq. "Only families with a 'connection' - a family member actually serving in the military - think about what goes on day-to-day [during the war]. A military family makes a big sacrifice, especially with the multiple deployments to fight the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. We are very proud of Jason and all of the soldiers serving."

As a member of St. Mark's United Methodist Church, Fears receives much-needed support from her church family while she lists her son on the prayer list every week.

Alice Weedon's son, Joshua, is also deployed in Iraq. "I have to honestly say it's been one of the hardest years of my life," she says. Joshua is scheduled to come home in July, and Weedon is grateful whenever she receives any form of communication from him. "Every time I get an e-mail from him, it's Mother's Day. Every time I get a phone call from him, it's Mother's Day."

Before his departure, Weedon says her son made her promise that she "wouldn't watch CNN or MSNBC news while he was away because he indicated that they only focus on negative issues and never report on the positive things that they are doing. He says they are accomplishing a lot."

The ultimate sacrifice 

Even so, Weedon's family has experienced the ultimate sacrifice in the loss of her nephew, Donald May, a U.S. Marine who was the first Virginian killed in Iraq in March 2003. For Brenda May, Weedon's older sister and Donald's mother, the loss is still excruciatingly painful. Surrounded by much of his Marine memorabilia and the photos found in his camera after he died, she says, "Five years later, I still suffer. I've survived a bad marriage, a divorce, breast cancer and a mild heart attack. But I am not surviving losing my son, my only child."

Recently, the family was able to fulfill Donald's final wish to be buried at Arlington National Cemetery. While it brings May comfort to know her son's wishes have been carried out, it's difficult for his grave to be so far away. "Money is so tight. It's bad enough not to have the gas money to visit his children - my grandchildren - but now, because he's been moved to Arlington, I feel like I'm letting him down because I can't even afford the gas to go visit him. I feel ashamed."

Community outreach 

Warmhearted Americans continue to do their share to support our troops. Kimberly Bay, a county fourth-grader, recently received a surprise visit from a returning soldier who never forgot her kindness two years ago when he randomly received a care package from her family. Kimberly had asked her parents to forgo birthday presents that year and use the money to buy items for the troops overseas instead. "I already had enough Barbies, so I wanted to do something else, and my mom suggested this."

Kimberly hardly contains her excitement as she describes the moment when she met her visiting soldier, Shane R. Cole, who presented her with a flag that had flown over his base in Iraq. "I felt joy run through me and excitement run through my head!"

Many other children in the county are also supporting the troops through projects at their schools, sometimes while also being supported as part of a military family themselves. Megan Glidewell, a second-grader and her kindergartner sister, Whitley, have been happy to have the entire second grade at J.B. Watkins adopt their big brother, Danny, while he is serving in Iraq. Other schools like Beulah Elementary and Swift Creek Middle have taken on similar projects, while Midlothian Middle is currently collecting school supplies for Iraqi children.

Other community members are also stepping up to help. The Smoketree Women's Club recently came together to sponsor a donation drive for care packages that have just been sent to the troops. "We received about $1,000 worth of donations including 88 boxes of Girl Scout cookies, socks, underwear, videos and books which will be shipped to Afghanistan," said Carolyn Schallmo, project coordinator.

Support is also needed for the family members of those currently serving overseas. When asked what our soldiers really need to help them get through their deployment while they are so far away from home, Brian Reasoner, an operation specialist chief in the U.S. Navy and Iraq war veteran, said, "Be there for our family members left behind. Jenny [his wife] had family and neighbors walk over or stop by and help out without even asking her if she needed it. It was easier for me knowing that Jenny and the kids had such a huge support system."

Jenny Reasoner remembers the day her husband left for combat. "I was so sad and scared, yet I had three children depending on me. I had to dig down deep for strength."

There were some rough patches while her husband was deployed, but those pale in comparison to the day he finally came home safely. "I've had some wonderful days in my almost 40 years of life but that day ranks as one of the best!"

Want to support the troops? Check out these links:

www.americasupportsyou.mil
www.anysoldier.com
www.operationtroopaid.org
www.supportourtroops.org/virginia
www.giveanhour.org

Check out more stories in this edition of the Chesterfield Observer, now a weekly publication.

Memorial Day 2008 Reading Room:

Jon Hatfield -- This Memorial Day, we talk to the head of Virginia's Mecca for remembering the efforts of our Commonwealth's fighting men and women.

Remembering Our Heroes -- Richmond.com has your guide to this year's Memorial Day events.

Fuzzy Memorial -- This Memorial Day, say a silent prayer for our troops. Then make really bad decisions.

The War Hits Home -- For those waiting back home as loved ones are away at war, Memorial Day can bring a plethora of emotions.

Less Traffic This Weekend? -- Thanks to higher gas prices, AAA Mid-Atlantic projects fewer travelers this holiday weekend.