"Spend a day in the home, or in the life, of a person with a disability. It draws the compassion out of your body to the point you didn't know you had it."

For maxillofacial surgeon Dr. Joe Niamtu, a major goal in life was to raise a son, experiencing all the joys of fatherhood while also passing along valuable life lessons. When his wife April gave birth to not one, but two sons with incurrable brain damage, those goals change. As the honorary spokesperson and longtime advocate of the Greater Richmond ARC (Association of Retarded Citizens), Dr. Niamtu is asking all Richmonders to "Help Dr. Joe, Help ARC." For more information about Dr. Niamtu, ARC and other charities Dr. Niamtu is invovled with, visit lovethatface.com.

Dr. Niamtu's wife, April, is also a co-spokesperson for ARC and an active member on the Board of Directors at Safe Harbor, a domestic violence shelter and program in Richmond. Despite her sons crippling situations, April strives to make their lives as normal as possible, complete with birthday parties, driving them to school and maintaining a loving and upbeat attitude at home and throughout their daily lives.

Have you always lived in Richmond?
Nope, I'm originally from Canton, Ohio.

What brought you to Richmond?
I did my maxillofacial surgery residency at MCV and I liked it here, well loved it here, and so I stayed here.

Can you give me a little background on Greater Richmond ARC and their mission?
The Greater Richmond ARC is a group that helps people throughout their entire lifespan with mental and physical disabilities. That's their goal. And they provide so many services, all the way from infant intervention to summer camps, to employment for people with disabilities, therapy, which leads into how I became acquainted with them.

And what is your experience with ARC on a personal level?
Well, unfortunately it's extensive, and no one is ever affiliated with a group like this because they wanted to be. I didn't get married until I was 48 years old; I held out! But I got married and wanted to have a son to take fishing, throw the football with, have follow me around the hospital and what not. So we had a son and named him after me, Joey, in April of 2000. At about 3 months old, he started having seizures and we went to the hospital and they told us our son had brain damage, other severe problems and that he would never be normal. They called it cerebral palsy, but they really didn't know what it was. So there we were saying, "Now what?" You don't know anything that you'll need – speech therapy, occupational therapy, wheelchairs, feeding tubes, oxygen – all these things that you know nothing about. Needless to say, you're worlds on end, just the emotional impact from having an abnormal child. So we found out about ARC, called them, and that one phone call took care of everything. Within probably a day, we had people and support and equipment; it was just unbelievable.

You also have a second son, Evan. Can you tell me about him?
I wanted to have someone who could take care of my son, because I'm not going to be here forever. We went through a lot of genetic testing and high-risk neo-natal care with amniocentesis and extended CT scans, and we were told that having this happen again, would just be a fluke. So we had Evan, in 2002 and, unfortunately he had the same thing.

What was your reaction to a second son born with the same defect?
There's nothing good about any of this, I have two beautiful, normal-looking kids, and it's unfortunate that they're always going to be at an infant level. But if there is anything good to say about it ARC, again, was there for us and has been there for thousands of families throughout the Greater Richmond area. And I'm lucky that I have the means to be able to keep my children at my house and not institutionalize them and there are a lot of people out there who have it equally as bad, or worse, than I do and ARC is just a tremendous organization. If I could sit down and explain to a group of people, my firsthand experiences with them, they would support this charity above many others.

Can you tell me about your position as honorary spokesperson for Greater Richmond ARC?
Well, I'll tell ya, there are some things I can't do well – I'm not a good dancer or singer – but I do a lot of public speaking in my job, I speak all over the world on cosmetic facial surgery. So, I can command and audience and get a point across while keeping people's interest. Coupled with the passion from being involved with this organization on a firsthand basis and wanting to help other people, I think that they saw a use for me within ARC to help spread their word, so they asked me, which was an honor. My wife helps as well, because from a mother's aspect, there's a whole different side to this story.

Can you elaborate on what you meant when you said your children will always be at an infant level?
Their ability to function will always be at a one-year-old level. If my children were sitting on a couch and you walked in the room, they look like a normal 6- and 8-year-old. But they can't walk, they can't talk, they can't do any purposeful movement; they are tube fed and will always be in diapers. It's a pretty tough pill to swallow.

What are some of the biggest challenges you've faced raising your two sons?
It's a tremendous disappointment in life, times two. And, you know [having children] is what you're supposed to do and it gives you something to live for and things to do for the rest of your life. So, watching these guys every day not progressing and seeing children their age that are running and jumping and yelling and singing, is extremely tough. It's something that I think about every minute every day; it's a loss and it's a grieving process. Unlike a death, which is a final situation, it's very sad and you grieve, but it’s a terminal situation and it's done. This is something that is kind of reversed, because it's always there and you have to continually watch these little babies get older, and the problem is, the future only brings more problems.

What are some of the things you've learned from this experience?
I've learned a lot about love, at the purest level, and a lot of about life. You know, even though my sons can't communicate verbally, I can put them on my lap and make them laugh. So where someone else's child may score a soccer goal or a home run or get an A+, my version of that is just getting a simple smile from one of my sons. And that just lights up my heart. It makes you look at life different and it makes you very sensitive to other people's problems because you realize what hardships they may be going through. And it makes you also proactive in wanting to improve things or change things or make things better for people. Unfortunately there's no miracle cure for something like brain damage, but I know the pain of it and I want to help other people who have that pain because it kind of guts you. You feel pretty empty and pretty hollow. But, they didn't come with receipts, and my job is to provide them the best life possible and to love them and nurture them and make them comfortable.