Will Ferrell borrowed Justin Guarani's hair and paired with Jack Black in what will probably be the most entertaining part of the night – a little musical ditty making light of the fact that comedians never win at the Oscars. Could it be a harbinger for "Little Miss Sunshine?" Perhaps. Also, not only did one of the interviewers refer to nominee Dame Helen Mirren as a "sex pot" on the red carpet, but Ferrell and Black just hit on the curvy old cougar, too. In other words, by the end of the night, she'll be making out in an elevator with Colin Farrell.
-- Mike Ward, Richmond.com
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Look, it's that chick from the American Express commercial hosting the Oscars!
It was nice to have a burgundy suit-clad Ellen DeGeneres actually banter and not just go for the cheap one-line zingers during the opening to the Oscars. In her monologue, DeGeneres also mentioned that it's a record night for international nominees – especially Mexicans. Hey, I wonder if NYU College Republicans are frisking nominees at the door? Speaking of politics, is Al Gore's idea of an Oscar after-party flapjacks at Bob Evans?
Also, having the nominees - even that 19-time tech awards loser - ad lib about their movies is a much better Oscar opening than having Billy Crystal cup his armpit make fart jokes. Thank you, producers.
It's now time for the art direction awards, or as I call it, bathroom break time.
-- Mike Ward, Richmond.com
Thoughts? Send your comments to mailto:editor@richmond.com?Subject=[Blog].
Interesting facts...
Feb. 25 at 8:14 p.m.
I'm really liking the scrolling "interesting facts" at the bottom of the CBS red carpet network feed. My favorite so far is that Cameron Diaz' childhood nickname was "Skeletor." Here's another interesting fact – now she has something in common with Donald Rumsfeld.
And we're off! (almost)
Feb. 25 at 8:14 p.m.
The red carpet will soon be pulled out from under $1,700 pairs of high heels and it's nearly time for painfully awkward acceptance speeches (we're looking at you, Forest Whitaker) and mispronounced nominees (How many different ways can you say "Babel?").
I'm here LIVE from our humble fan digs with an entourage consisting of my girlfriend Jenn, who's wearing Target pajama pants (I'm in big trouble for mentioning that) and our dog, Gloria, who's chilling on the couch – if we can find some over-sized black sunglasses, she can be our resident Jack Nicholson. I'm wearing my now fading tuxedo T-Shirt.
Now that we have that out of the way, I'd like to mention tonight's sponsors: Miller High Life, Leo DiCaprio's Spray Tanning and PETA, who will be picketing Kirsten Dunst's next movie as she apparently killed some anonymous poor game animal to make her dress. In fact, Gloria perked up when she saw it.
Ellen Degeneress is hosting tonight's affair, and hopefully she'll read the joke I mailed her about doing the "popcorn trick" with Anne Heche during the "A League of their Own" premiere.
-- Mike Ward, Richmond.com
Thoughts? Send your comments to mailto:editor@richmond.com?Subject=[Blog].
Red Carpet Ruminations
Feb. 25 at 7:08 p.m.
Since I'd rather stare directly at the sun than watch Joan and Melissa Rivers' dog, pony and Botox show, we're tuned into the E! Channel's red carpet coverage, led by Ryan Seacrest. Apparently some people actually care about what B-list celebrities are wearing, but hopefully Eddie Murphy will show up in a fat suit sporting something from Layne Bryant.
Here are a few quick notes and observations from Seacrest's incredibly awkward Q&A:
Message to Secrest: Asking Al Gore what he's wearing is about as necessary as asking an Amish dude what he's driving.With a name like Tammy Lynne Michaels, you're destined to either be a serial killer or Melissa Etheridge's girlfriend.Jodie Foster has a special glow about her tonight. I'm not saying it has anything to do with the fact that Ellen is hosting…This must be the one time a year all the celebrity bodyguards get to hang out. I wonder if they have an arm wrestling competition for bragging rights in the parking garage while they wait.-- Mike Ward, Richmond.com Thoughts? Send your comments to mailto:editor@richmond.com?Subject=[Blog].
Oscar the Grouch
Feb. 23 at 1:44 p.m.
It's nice to go through the Oscar season hoopla without one gay cowboy joke, isn't it? Unlike last year, this year's Academy Awards don't present late-night show hosts with that one obvious joke (unless you count Eddie Murphy's alleged attachment to the off-off-off-Broadway sock puppet production of "Dream Trannies." I kid.)
Similar to previous years, I'll be dry-cleaning my tuxedo T-shirt and rolling out the red welcome mat in front of my apartment this year in anticipation of Richmond.com's annual Dear Oscar Diary blog. I've even paid an elderly neighbor to paint her face with rubber cement and pretend to be Joan Rivers for the night. I might even let her hang out by my front door and interview the Papa John's delivery man.
So please join us LIVE on Sunday night to make fun of the people who have much, much better lives than the rest of us. And those are just the technical awards winners!
The 79th Annual Academy Awards, hosted by Ellen DeGeneres, air Sunday at 8 p.m. on NBC.
SEE: Nominees, Our top 10 best-reviewed movies of '06, top 10 worst-reviewed and last year's Oscar diary.-- Mike Ward, Richmond.com Thoughts? Send your comments to mailto:editor@richmond.com?Subject=[Blog].