Karri Peifer, editor
Reporting on the Olympics
And if it were, this year’s coverage by NBC and its affiliates would win the gold. It’s all Olympic coverage, all the time -- from the nightly lead story to the human interest piece at the end. Which is fine, I guess … as long as our country wasn't engaged in a war (or two) or the world as a whole weren't also engaged in a war (or two).
Watching "Law & Order" marathons
If it's a marathon, and I completed it, shouldn't it count for something?
Texting
I certainly wouldn't win, but clearly it's a skill one could cultivate and hone.
Speed Dating
This would require more than just participating in the act, of course. But one should be able to win a medal for one's ability to accurately size up (and likely dismiss) a potential suitor in a matter of seconds. (Two words: mock turtleneck).
Signaling a Turn
Because if it were so easy, everyone would do it.
Greg Hershey, phd in slack Top 5s
Peace on earth
Separation of church and state
Music appreciation
Joke telling
Deconstruction of the Military Industrial Complex
Stephanie Brummell, staff writer
Case Races
Because you don't have to be inhumanly strong and athletic, like Michael Phelps or Shawn Johnson, to participate. It's an every-man sport.
Picking Noses
Have you ever seen some of those people that really go at it while they're driving? You know, because they think they're invisible to the world? It may be disgusting, but they really get going, it's almost fascinating! Gross … I know.
Impersonations
Because I myself would win a few gold medals in that division. Maybe we'll get some samples up here one day. Maybe one day.
The "Here's Your Sign" Games
Because I know a few people who would take the gold in one swoop. If you don't know what I'm talking about, watch the "Blue Collar Comedy Tour."
The Weird Things Boys Say to Girls Games
Or it could be a comedy tour. Either way … they need to hear what they sound like.
Dionne Waugh, news writer
Beer Pong
It's a skill, one honed for years in college, that would really drive up viewership for the big games.
Parallel Parking
Because what would a Top Five be without mentioning driving? But seriously, sometimes I'm just SO proud of myself with my quick and experienced parallel park job that it brings me to near tears!
Sleeping
Oh, how I miss the days in college when I would stay up all night, sleep all day and then sleep some more. It'd be an interesting challenge to see if people could do that while we watched.
Spitting
Sure, it's digusting as hell, but wouldn't it be interesting to see how far some people could hurl their spittle?
Writing
Because it's truly a sport that needs real recognition. Fast, accurate and engaging? Now that's a great piece of work!